February 2012
3 posts
such a disappointment.
last night, around 1 am i heard my mom leave
she locked the door
without even telling me where she was going
i figured maybe she was making a late night 7-11 run
for a vanilla coke and chips
but as time passed, i got worried
she had been gone for two hours by then
i called at least 25 times, no answer
so i walked outside to see if her car was there
we dont live in a very nice area
so i...
captainsaveah0e asked: hey stranger. miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu:)
January 2012
4 posts
ranting.
i try to think about all of the good things about you
then all the bad overshadows
theres a lot of things about you that i adore
yet theres quite a few that i despise
you dont seem to care anymore
you dont try to win me over anymore
i dont want to lose you
but i dont want to continue feeling like shit because of your attitude
i want so many things out of you
and i keep hoping something...
too much to ask?
i want you to be better
to enjoy life
to life freely
but most importantly, i want you to know that i care
about you
thats why im hoping you dont take this the wrong way
but here’s what i really want..
i want you to understand that i have guy friends
and that i would NEVER cheat on you
i want you to relax and just trust me
i want you to let me in
i want to be your priority
i...
acquirednormality asked: I really want to meet you someday.
November 2011
9 posts
Anonymous asked: FUCKIN LOVE YOU DEVINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS YOUR THE ONE
i miss washington:(
where to begin..
i froze my sweet tea last night, and i would just like to start off by saying that it is so much better when its all slushy. mmm.
okay, aaaanywaaay.. today was my little sisters birthday. she turned five, the birthday that we were supposed to celebrate together with a trip to disneyland. i miss her so damn much, it hurts. i miss her little hugs and kisses. i miss hiding her binkies, playing hide...
mistakes
my thoughts are gonna jump around all over the place
but theres a whole lot of shit i need to get off my chest
im feeling a million different emotions right now
im happy that im here, with my mom
but it kills me to know that my dad wont talk to me
not even a simple “hey how are you?”
every time i get an email, its to bitch me out
and the one person that was there for me, no...
this post is fucking with my ocd.
i just want that guy that goes out of his way to make everything perfect. someone sweet, gentle, and loyal. not some immature little bitch, if i wanted that i would be a lesbian. a guy that tries his hardest to make sure im happy and taken care of. i wanna be held, i love that feeling of being safe in a guy’s arms:) im loyal and will treat you like no other girl would.
if i get this...
October 2011
5 posts
guys fucking SUCK.
why is it that the guys that are boyfriend material arent always super cute? or the other way around, super cute but they’re a total player or just a straight up asshole. seriously guys.. get it together, respect girls. we arent just “pieces of ass” or “tits on a stick”.
fucking livid.
you have no fucking clue.
i hate living here, i want to leave.
i am so sick of everything being blamed on me.
even the stupid little shit.
im so done with it.
whatever, fuck you.
and you wonder why i have trust issues with so many people.
your fucking fault.
done.
i cant fucking do this anymore.
i feel sick.
i hate this feeling.
confusion,at its finest.
you break me down, then build me back up.
you hurt me, then you get my hopes up again.
i feel like breaking down
but i know i have to stay strong
because clearly you know my weaknesses
and one of them is you
im sitting here, staring at this bright screen
listening to a song called “love dont run”
and i just want to break down and cry
because i want you, only you.
i’ll...
September 2011
3 posts
cody dickinson.
oh boy, we’ve had our ups and downs.
but darling, this roller coaster is worth riding.
i’ll stay locked in until the ride gives out.
i sound so lame right now, i understand that.
hey, i’ll start from the beginning..
the day i saw you, cheer tryouts. you were at the school hanging out.
i saw you and i instantly got hooked.
okay, its sounds cliche..but it was love at first...
the reality of love.
ive been through a lot of shit in my life
and i have been hurt numerous times
never this badly though
my heart literally aches
my heart still skips a beat when i think of you
and every time i get a text from you
i hope it says that you love me
but you’re not like that
you arent willing to try again
i feel like the way you really feel is covered
by either your pride
or what other...
August 2011
5 posts
you.
you had me at hello
first glance
a smile
simply radiant
and your eyes
are beautiful
breath taking
and the butterflies swarm in my stomach
i do not feel sick
nor uncomfortable
but i feel humble
and warm
and i really enjoy this feeling
i do not know how
to better explain
how bad it hurts to see you walk away
when your back turns to me
and you leave
but i know i’ll see you...
As of now..
I’m falling.
Catch me if you can,baby;)
fuuuuck.
who came up with that stupid saying
“stuck between a rock and a hard place”?
for real, it makes absolutely no sense
right now, my “rock” is Cody.
my “hard place” is all the drama that we are going through
why cant people get over the fact that i have a new life?
i like Cody, in fact, i think im falling for him
and i was never this happy with eddie.
and...
how dare you
its crazy how quickly things can change
but who am i to judge
hypocritical of me, i apologize.
what compels them to do this?
but right now, none of that matters.
im sitting in a park with my mind open and my heart secluded
and i feel lost
but so found at the same time
what if this time could be different?
maybe it could be better than the last
but of course it would be, or else the last...
June 2011
3 posts
tomorrow.
tomorrow is a day
that i refuse to recognize
why would i celebrate a day
dedicated to someone that is
meaningless
he is nothing to me anymore
and he chooses to accept that
maybe soon he’ll see
how badly he actually hurt me
and maybe he’ll understand
that i miss being his little girl
but he chose to put his
“little family”
before me
and now im trying to accept...
“ice cream is always better after you get laid”
i really dont know how else to say this.
i miss you daddy
fathers day is next week
and i miss you
i miss the expression on your face
when you open cards from your girls
i miss the way you bribe me
just to come outside and help barbeque
i miss a lot of things about you
but im not ready to swallow my pride yet
and neither are you
so for now,
i hope your fathers day goes well.
May 2011
7 posts
my life, complicated.
i cant explain this very well
but i’ll do my best
im laying on my bed
with heavy metal screaming in my ears
im warm and deep in thought
a song comes on
i think of you
my heart skips a beat
and my stomach flips
i havent talked to you in a while
have you forgotten about me?
its alright if you have
i was close to forgetting you
until i thought of the significance of today
a year...
just leave
you should know by now
that i have issues with men
yet you waltz in
and think you can change my mind
but all of you are pigs
you just have that ability
to hide the real you
but once alcohol gets you
the pig shows
just leave
we dont want you here
we only needed you
while she got on her feet
we dont care
not for you
slowly.
i am drowning myself
my soul
the life is being sucked out of me
slowly
i take a deep breath
stand in front of you and try
get the courage to tell you
exactly how i am feeling
but i cant
because you scare me
and i dont even care if this is the last time
the last time i see your face
brush my lips across you cheeks
i dont care anymore
i tried too many times
but you denied me
you...
little puppy.
they say love comes naturally
not this kind
i want to distance myself from it
i dont want to be here
but i dont want to be there
can i be nowhere?
that would make me happy
i miss her little voice
her little hands that somehow fit into mine
she was a perfect little angel
my little puppy
she seemed to brighten my darkest days
and honestly, she kept me alive
i miss the way she said she...
April 2011
5 posts
stay golden.
within me is a fire
burning so hot and bright
it was once a dull flame
but has recently been relit
and i like that
i saw a star shoot across the sky
and i wished
for someone like you
and here you are
i know that i have been through a lot
but that is in my past
ive moved on
and i dont plan on it being that way
never again
its those events that make me who i was
yesterday
and...
untitled.
chaos
im going crazy
i hate noise
but i hate silence
i cant think
i cant speak
i breathe slowly
and i never realized how much i miss that
i want to calm down
but i cant concentrate
i love the thought of loving you
i miss those calm warm nights
now all i hear is chaos
i get chills
i hate this so much
but i push on
because thats who i am
There's faith in love.: Party like it's 1999! →
bienvenuealamour:
hannahlovesyouohsomuch:
mariiscq:
If you played with Barbies..
Polly Pockets..
Beanie Babies..
Tamagotchi..
Slip N’ Slide..
And Furbies..
Listened to the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, NSync and the Spice Girls..
On Hit Clips, a Boom…
Hell yeah!
March 2011
5 posts
in ca-liiiiiii?
people like me
it might be the hair-do
or the purr-fume
or the laugh..no probably not
they talk to me
maybe it’s my smile
shit,braces for six years..
they better like my damn teeth.
it could be my style
my shhhhwag?
or how i cant say “hella”
without laughing
could it be because i’m fo’ real?
not fake (no fake and bake heeeere!)
its the boots!
and...
silver.
bright
like you
simple
like you
dazzling
like you
tough
like you
easily bent
like you
shapable
like you
beautiful
like you
daddy.
I hear him crying
Not soft sobs but loud and thunderous cries
I peek through the door
His eyes bloodshot and cheeks stained red
His job has high demand and overwhelming stress
He sees death and crime, while I would rather see new beginnings and peace
And I admire him for his bravery
But this is not the time to be brave
After that night, I saw no emotion
Not in his eyes or in his smile
His lips...
this is tough.
i dont know how to
express
the way i feel
not to you
or even myself
i am confused
i hate pretending
but thats just who i am..
i pretend to be happy and bubbly
when on the inside i am screaming
i want it to come out of my skin
but it wont even
budge
not even the slightest bit
and that scares me
beyond belief
only because it prevent me from
feeling
and i like to feel
i like to...
never.
i tried to understand you
you didnt try to understand me
i dont get it
why are you so distant?
i tried to make it work
put my heart on my sleeve
you couldnt care any less
i got one word answers, no replies
silence.
i hate silence
thats just not me
but you
you were shy
i thought it was cute
until i saw your true colors
that scared me
February 2011
10 posts
asdfghjkl;
im lonely
but surrounded by people
i need love
but i have it already
please help me
my understanding must be off
i wear glasses
yet i do not see
i feel terrible
but i cannot muster up the courage
talking to you is hard
for me
i want it to be easier
i laugh
to cover the hurt
i smile
to hide the sadness
i refuse to be negative
i am the positive
i hate how easily
this one ticks
...